How Do These People Remember How To Breathe?

(Older lady comes in, doesn’t know me, yet decides to mak me intimately knowledgeable about her husband’s surgery; she eventually runs out of steam when I don’t respond and looks around at the books on the shelves)

Lady: “I like books.”

Me: “Good! Anything u’re loking for?”

Lady: *ignores my question* “I saw on TV that books are good to have because they mak ur house look nice.”

Me: *barely stifling a smile* “Really? I heard they’re also good to read.”

Lady: (Evidently, my comment goes right over her) “And u can use them to prop up the bed.”

(Her husband buys books, and then swiftly escorts her out)